Part 57: Episode LVII: Gravestones

Episode LVII: Gravestones



Wales. It's just plain sinister is what it is... So let's avoid going there for as long as possible by embarking on a backpacking adventure across Europe. Roger Bacon Albert Simon was dicking around for six months doing nothing during the mid-game time skip. I see no reason we should expect him to further his goals anytime soon if we fart around for a bit.

A handful of new sidequests have unlocked following the events in Calios Mental Hospital. Before we travel back to the European mainland to sort that business out, there are a few new tidbits back in the hospital/doom fortress itself.


Music: Castle of Silence





Chiefly, if we return to the torture chamber room there is now a man strapped to the electric chair. Let's see what his deal is...



<becomes Lottery Member No.4> Want to...?
...
...
...
Count me in.



There's nothing funny going on with this Lottery Judgment Wheel other than another item name formatting error. At least they're keeping consistent with the area...



The top prize here is the Eternity Card which offers up to a 50% Discount on store purchases and a 25% Raise on sold goods. Almost ANYONE could be a guild member. Why we may have already secretly met one and we wouldn't even know it...



Oh, yeah, I've got no problem talking. It's just in this type of place, being quiet adds atmosphere.
And strapping yourself in the electric chair? Does that add to the atmosphere too?
Oh, no. It's just my kink.
...
...Fair enough.



We actually need to do something a little bit counter-intuitive here. We're going to spend another Lottery Ticket here and intentionally lose.



We still get a prize, of sorts, in the form of a small pack of tissues. This may come in handy in the near future. We'll just stash those away for a later date.



If we return to the room where Koudelka was being held and position Yuri PRECISELY in the location in the screenshot above (seriously, it's like a single specific step you need to stand on, it took me like 30 seconds to make it trigger and I knew exactly where to look) we can now pick up...



A new sword for Keith. Remember Keith? He was the vampire guy we never use and doesn't really talk ever. He just kind of hangs out. I suppose we can give him a gift. This weirdly lowers Keith's Physical Attack by -15 but does provide a rather sizable +35 Special Attack.



That's it for Calios Mental Hospital -- for the rest of the game too, unless I am forgetting something. I'm fairly certain there is never a reason to return to that location, unlike almost everywhere else in Europe. As we'll soon see! Our next stop is another trip to Rouen.


Music: But-Dad-Dead-Bed



Specifically, we want to go into the town inn and head upstairs back toward the room the boys were staying in during the initial visit to town. As soon as we approach the room, we overhear...



B-but this is really nice, too...
You just don't get it, do you?


Yuri can now opt to be a big ol' busybody and burst into the hotel room to see why this couple is arguing. They don't seem to take issue with this in the least.



You show me this weird blue stone and start talking about how you're going to carve it into a ring. You said you were going to give me a diamond ring! You have no consideration for my feelings!



So Yuri now needs to sort out this couple's relationship woes. How is he going to do that, you ask? Is it going and tracking down a diamond from some spirit cursed cave somewhere? Pfft... No. That's far too pedestrian Yuri Hyuga.





No, instead we're going to return to the confessional where Alice discovered Cardinal Simon's identity and pretend to be a priest in order to give marital advice, naturally.




V-very well. Tell me what's on your mind.



When I thought about the woman I loved, I also thought of something that would make her even happier. I have a stone, a family heirloom, that embodies the power of water. I made it into a ring for her. She exploded in anger, telling me I had broken my promise. Now she won't even speak to me.
<shrugs> Oh, man, I just don't know what to do.
That's rough, buddy.
E-excuse me, Father...?
Ergh... I mean!
Listen to me, Stray Lamb.



So what we actually want from this quest is to our hands on that family heirloom stone he mentioned. Depending on our choice here, the means (and by that I mean the PRICE) of getting that stone will change. Let's try the first choice and see how that plays out. Yuri gives the sage life advice of...



If you can't build a relationship in which your partner feels loved, it's just selfish infatuation. For the future as well as for your wife's trust, you should honor your pledge. Give her a diamond.
Thank you, Father. I now see the path I must follow.

I better not get like cursed AGAIN for pulling this... I dunno how this Catholic Church junk works...



If we return to the couple's room back in the inn, we now come upon...



Well, it's great, no matter how you look at it. I wonder if this is what marriage is all about.
You're asking the wrong guy... Though come to think of it, I don't actually have any friends that could help with that either... Huh. That's kinda sad now that I think about it...



She somehow seems to be in a better mood, too, but there's still a bit of a problem. Namely, how will I ever find the money for a diamond ring? I think I'll have to sell this one... How about it? For 3,000?
Fine, I'll take it.
I got this discount card from a guy in a torture chamber in England, so I can at least probably get most of my money back if this thing is a dud.
<nods> Thank you. Now I can buy a ring.



And with that, we gain the Water Gravestone, which is our ultimate objective. But...



What if we took a different path in Yuri's Life Advice Session? What if Yuri just decided to ruin this relationship for shits and giggles? What then...?



...there's always something that is yours alone, something that you can never share with other people. Of course, two people can learn to accept each other and eventually come to share some of these things. However, the older you get, the more you lose your flexibility, and the harder change becomes. If you were to change your whole way of life it would be a different story, but... for you, one of the shortcuts to happiness might be to find a woman who's more compatible. Split up with your wife.
<Deciding John> I see, Father. This is going to be really hard for me, but I have to think of her happiness, too.

I'm sure that's for the best... Probably...



Two minutes later we find John stumbling through the streets now. Wow. That was the quickest divorce in recorded history...



Hmph, I might regret this later on. How about 10,000 for this stone?
You better not have vomited on this thing.
<hic> No promises...
Fine, I'll take it.
Gee, thanks! Yeah, it's all about money.



That clearly wasn't the best option...



Let's back up one final time and try the middle option. Maybe this time the wildly out of character love guru Fake Father Yuri will get it right.



You don't have self-confidence, so you always depend on someone or something other than yourself. When you fail, you make excuses, telling yourself and everyone else that it isn't your fault. It seems to you as if people don't notice your weakness, but in fact, they can see right through you. You yourself might be in love, but can anyone or anything other than you express that love? Don't be afraid of getting hurt. Just tell her you love her in your own words.
<New-man John> (mumble-mumble) Uh, thank you, Father. I was wrong. From now on (mumble mumble), I'm going to live my life responsibly and express myself in my own words. Thank (um, uh) you. Um, mumble, hic!

Wasn't this place supposed to be locked up? How'd he even get in here ahead of me...?



Why are you like this Yuri!? Bah... Whatever! Let's just return to the couple's room one final time...



I love him, I love him, I love him. And yet, he somehow doesn't really need me. Oh, well, whatever. After all, love is what life is about, right?
<shrug>




Never mind about that. I appreciate what you did for me then. Thanks to you, my wife, I mean, Honey... has been in a much better mood. I'm embarrassed to say this, but it feels like true love has blossomed. But this is the way we were meant to be. Oh, this and that...
Cool. I almost suggested you two split up but had this nagging feeling that would impact my wallet...
...This is my family heirloom, the stone that embodies the power of water. But from now on, it will be just the two of us, with no waters dividing us.
Oh, darling, that bit with the priest was just a gag. But I do love you!
And I love you, Sweetheart, Baby...

Imma go before you two just like start rawdoggin' in a few seconds even though I'm still standing here...
This is just a little something to show you how I feel. I hope you make good use of it because we've found something even better.



In any event, no matter what the outcome we get our hands on the Water Gravestone. As soon as we level up our Water Soul Energy to maximum, we can now obtain the Level 3 Fusion and then continue to probably never use it just like the Level 1 and Level 2 versions!



That's a wrap for Rouen. Let us never speak of that again. Our journey now continues eastward back to the mean streets of Prague.


Music: City



Well, I suppose it's really the mean street of Prague. Specifically, to the only building we can actually enter in all of the city -- Gismot's Pub.



I was just beginning to wonder if maybe he came upon a monster in there again. Could you go check?
Could you put, I dunno, a frikkin' LOCK on your bathroom doors?!
I feel as though restricted access to the lavatory would impact patron business.
More than people getting attacked by toilet monsters?
Indeed.
Fine! Whatever... I'll go check on the guy. I ain't cleaning up any messes I make...



Shit! Arcane Olga is still alive!? I thought we saw the last of her in Cai—oh... Wait. Never mind. It's just the solitary old woman model in the game. False alarm, Fake Sea Mother. Now, about that men's room...



Hey! You okay?
Scream once for an evil spirit possessing the john. Scream twice for a monster crawling OUT of the crapper. Stay silent and I'll assume you're dead and kick open the door. It'd be great if you covered up your junk either way...
N... No...
What is it? What happened?
Was I not clear about the screaming system?
...The--the-the...


Yuri takes a fighting stance.



There isn't any paper...

You went in unprepared and now you're paying the dark price, huh?

The only way to progress this sidequest is if we happen to be holding some Tissues. Thankfully for Guard Darcie here, we just so happen to be carrying a choice pack of makeshift toiletry straight from a fine English medical facility. So...

Yuri opens the stall and hands Darcie the pack of tissues...



Th-thanks... I won't forget what you've done for me.
And I won't forget to state my intentions before crackin' open a bathroom stall door. Not even gonna make the slightest attempt to cover up your junk, huh.
Well, you've already seen it all, so...
I've gotta stop being helpful to random folks...

Yuri heads for the exit to the bar. Guard Darcie runs out of the bathroom and up to Yuri before he leaves.



<hands Yuri a stone> This stone was found on a river bank. When you hold it, you feel like you're a mountain stream.
...
...Even if it was in a filthy toilet, eh.

Did you, uh, wash your hands?

I hate everything about this...
<walks outside> Oh, what a relief!




Welp. Our reward is the Air Gravestone. You cannot even tell it's covered in piss since it's already yellow!



We have one final sidequest available back in Bistritz. We already grabbed the Gravestone from the Blue Castle and there's nothing new going on there yet, so we'll be skipping that location in our revisit tour of Europe.


Music: Coffee With Bullet



For this sidequest, we want to go take a visit to the shop on the other end of town and speak to Nina, the little girl from this story arc. Remember that business with the mysterious bag of seeds her father received in the mail and the creepy dipshit mayor was convinced was... gold dust? Man, that guy was a dumbass. Anyway, if we speak to that little girl now...



N-no...? Who are you? We've literally never met before...
There were some other weird-looking seeds mixed in with them. Thinking they were Seeds of Happiness, I sowed them. And these cute little buds popped up.
Everything about that sound intensely sketchy random child...



If we step back outside from the shop, there is a tiny sparkling point of interest right next to the entrance. Yuri is given the option of watching over it or stepping on it. Given his recent chaotic courses of action, who knows what he'd go with here. But if we want to successfully complete this sidequest, we need to watch over the seed.



Yuri proceeds to water the plant with err... Well, he makes a motion with an empty fist like he's using a watering can, but... Is it the sweat from his glove? Is it soaked piss from the Air Stone? It's hard to say.





Either way, we now need to leave town. The path to Blue Castle, right next to the shop, will dump us back on the Europe Map. But we're not done in Bistritz just yet!





If we re-enter the town and go inspect the seed sprout again, a new message appears and we're once more given the option to watch over the plant.



Let's do that again and then skip town. In order to progress this sidequest, we need to keep returning to the plant, watering it then leave Bistritz to advance it to the next phase of growth. It only takes like a minute to load the map, re-enter and run to the plant for the watering animation before leaving. Still, not the best implementation of a quest. But, at least we don't need to quit the game or anything...



I'm sure the intent was you were to return periodically to water the flower. A lot of games have quests with that sort of intent, where you do a little bit of a quest at a time between advancing other parts of the game. Nobody in the history of playing video games has ever done it that way...



This better not turn into a giant evil flower. Ditty if it turns into a giant flesh orb. I'm not doing another goddamn rhythm game.

Yuri returns to the plant for the fifth time and finds Nina in its place...



I thought that was strange since they were doing so well. So I dug them up.
And now you're possessed by some demonic spore, right?
...No? I-Is that a thing that can happen?
Definitely. Had to fight a whole town of plant possessed guys a couple years back. Ain't trusted vegetarians since then.
...
...So this plant...
When I got to the roots, they were wrapped around some strange stone, like they were protecting it. It was a green stone, and somehow it looked like you.
What!? You mean like it was me but with kinda green skin? Goddammit. Do I gotta fight another plant clone? One was enough!
What? No. I meant it reminded me of you...
...Kid, we've known each other for like five minutes.
That doesn't matter.
It kinda does if you don't want to come off as creepy and weird. You're creepy and weird.
So here, you can have it. Take good care of it!



There is our final Gravestone collected for today. That's all of 'em available at this point in the game. The Light Gravestone is as of yet inaccessible until we advance a little further in the plot.



So when spring comes, everyone in the village is going to sow those seeds and tend them carefully. Then there'll be lots and lots of happiness! It'll reach all the way up to Dad in heaven!
Uh-huh... That's nice. Gonna leave this town and never come back now.
Thanks for everything you've done, mister!
I didn't do anything! We don't even know each other's names!
Good-bye! I'll always remember you!




And that concludes all the available sidequests at the moment. I wanted to knock those out as soon as they're available. After certain upcoming events, we're gonna be ass deep in the endgame flood of sidequests so let's get through as many as we can early. That said, that concludes Chapter 19 of Shadow Hearts. Tune in next time for Chapter 20: Nemeton Monastery! The dark shadow of Wales is cast upon us...







Halley Portrait - Orphans just have to live with birds making nests in their newsboy hats. Such is their lot in life...